The Weekly Roundup: Combination of chickens and nuts leaves bad aftertaste

Monday, March 21

UPDATE: Jewish frat covered in anti-Semitic graffiti at Brown University

Amazingly, the school rallied in support of the Jewish students without even waiting for the Regents to tell them whether the vandalism was discriminatory.

Clemson student senator accused of racism for holding gun, Constitution in campaign poster

To get a sense for how ridiculous the complaints were, consider that he won re-election with about twice the votes he received in the last election.

Tuesday, March 22

UC Berkeley student Senate demands free, on-campus abortions in name of ‘mental health’

The silver lining? They want to pay for the abortions by cutting administrators’ salaries, which, if they approve the policy, will be exactly what those administrators deserve.

UND prof. vows to call cops on ROTC members for carrying guns, conducting ‘military maneuvers’

That might prove a rather expensive way to make a point once the fines for misuse of the 911 system start rolling in.

And if the mere sight of a fake gun is enough to send her scuttling under her desk for safety, she might do well to avoid Washington, D.C. The Secret Service carries real guns. Big ones.

Students petition Clemson to respect their First Amendment rights

Of course, they had to get permission first, which is kind of their point.

American University Profs. say ‘All Lives Matter’ sign is example of ‘white supremacy’

Erm, isn’t that sort of (alright, completely) false by definition? Who goes around trying to achieve supremacy by promoting equality?

Prof. lashes out at Campus Reform for exposing tweet calling Ben Carson a ‘coon’

Shh! Don’t tell her that every word she utters just digs her in deeper. We want to see how long it takes her to figure that out for herself.

Wednesday, March 23

USC student warns that impeaching conservative senator would expose liberal bias to the world

Don’t misunderstand: he agrees that anyone with the temerity to express conservative opinions in public should be removed from office; he just seems to recognize that Stalinism isn’t terribly popular outside of California.

Emory student gov. approves ‘emergency funds’ for students ‘triggered’ by Trump chalkings

So, if Trump is elected president, should we just go ahead and have the student body committed to a psychiatric institution?

Kansas governor signs bill guaranteeing religious freedom for student groups

Predictably, it was met with howls of indignation from the LGBT community, which is apparently quite gung-ho about joining explicitly Christian groups.

Thursday, March 24

Mizzou requires students to take ‘diversity intensive’ courses for graduation

In that case, they should also make them take a persuasive rhetoric course, because eventually they’ll need to convince prospective employers that they learned more in college than how to be inclusive.

Apparently the school’s urgent concern about declining enrollment was just talk. That, or they actually believe inanity is appealing to prospective students (and their tuition-paying parents).

Vagina Monologues cancelled because it only offers ‘white woman’s experience’

Well. God forbid.

UC Regents recognize anti-Semitism, but not anti-Zionism, as discrimination

Wait, so it took them nearly 150 years to decide that Jews are people, too … and conservatives are the ones in need of tolerance training?

Friday, March 25

USC senator escapes impeachment, but loses stipend for being conservative

There are only two things the USC student senate can’t stand: people who are intolerant of other people's’ beliefs … and conservatives.