The Weekly Roundup (10/19/15-10/23/15)
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Monday, 19 October
UNH claims microaggressions cause poverty, heart disease among women. Which raises the question: are microaggressions covered by Obamacare?
Stanford students petition for ‘sustainable-food-themed’ dining hall. Somehow we suspect that it isn’t proximity to meat-eaters that gives Stanford’s vegans trouble stomaching their meals.
Community college faces lawsuit for rejecting conservative club. Perhaps they’ll tell the judge they were just protecting students from exposure to too many opinions.
Pro-life display vandalized. Abortion activists sure do hate it when pro-lifers publicize abortion statistics…
Tuesday, 20 October
Questioning ‘Black Lives Matter’ costs student paper $17k. Don’t worry, it’s not censorship. The student government is just really committed to reducing paper waste.
UD responds to fake hate crime with $1 million diversity initiative. Never mind that the “nooses” were actually lantern remains; the fact that the mistake could be made at all is clear evidence of Delaware’s diversity deficiency.
Female student labeled ‘Uncle Tom’ for defending Jefferson statue. If “all men are created equal” is a gender- or race-based microaggression, what will liberals make of this?
Wednesday, 21 October
Student paper censors pro-campus carry opinion. The Daily Texan must not have much confidence in its anti-gun stance if it fears pitting its 18 op-eds against a single conservative viewpoint.
Student petition drives Border Patrol from UC-Irvine job fair. And why not? Everyone knows that California is chock-full-of-jobs.
UW-Madison: ‘politically correct’ is not politically correct. Finally! Can we assume this means that the whole ridiculous charade can now be put safely behind us?
SoCal student gov may ask for $100 million to help impose racial quotas. Why not up the ante to an even billion? Just think how much diversity that would buy!
Thursday, 22 October
Student senator under fire for opposing removal of Confederate flag. Well, actually it was the Mississippi state flag, and the law requires it to be displayed at all public institutions.
BLM founder declares that ‘capitalism is bad for blacks’. Apparently, black people were the first currency in the colonies. As opposed to, say, British Pounds.
Bradley University combats ‘fatism’. You see, those wacky doctors with their crazy ideas about “healthy weight” are really just prejudiced against the differently shaped.
Pro-Israel chalkings erased and defaced. Further evidence that America is a truly great nation: anti-Israel sentiments here are expressed with chalk, not knives.
Friday, 23 October
Feminism critic disinvited from speech at Williams College. Students decided she would just be too darn provocative for a lecture series on controversial opinions.
DOE issues guidelines for teachers on ‘welcoming’ illegals. Now that the law requires all public day care centers—erm, schools—to accept undocumented students, teachers must learn new coddling techniques.
Chalkings at UNC accuse YAL group of supporting eugenics, white supremacy. The anonymous scribes forgot to mention that YAL also hates puppy dogs, baby deer, and Beyoncé.
Georgia Tech deans claim ‘cheer’ is a sexist word. Female students disagree, pointing out that they do, in fact, enjoy cheering for the school’s football team.