The Weekly Roundup (11/14/15 - 11/20/15)
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn't
Saturday, 14 November
How did they know they would find white kids to taunt in the library?
Because there are “millions” of college-ready refugees ready to be served by the preppiest college on the West Coast?
Monday, 16 November
Wait, we thought segregation was a form of racism, but now the liberals are telling us it is a cure?
But they held it on a Monday, so nobody was in class anyway.
She must be a first-born.
That’s funny. He doesn’t usually seem too reluctant to stifle dissent when his policies are under discussion.
Later, she took questions at a press conference, being the most articulate member of the group.
They simply will not sit in silence while straight people continue to dominate the art world.
He may have seen Tombstone one too many times.
Tuesday, 17 November
Oh, the places you’ll go! You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great fights! You’ll join the social justice warriors who oppose free speech rights!
Perhaps he was hoping they wouldn’t come back.
With a few well-chosen platitudes, she even had the students thanking her for rejecting their ultimatum.
Surely, he’s just hoping to wash his hands of this nonsense.
Wednesday, 18 November
They wanted publicity, but not that kind of publicity.
Discussion topics included “Golf: racism as sport”; “Why The Big Bang Theory isn’t as funny as you think it is”; “Dockers: insensitivity with a zipper”; and, our personal favorite, “Fake It ‘Til You Make It: hip-hop dancing for the rhythmically-challenged”.
Remember: insufficient agreement is just as bad as opposition.
And for suggesting that fabricating instances of racism is counter-productive, they had to endure having their Facebook page flagged for “hate speech” and temporarily disabled.
Due to an unforeseen delay in the arrival of the new bully-proof windows and troll-safe doors, students are encouraged to keep their doors locked and shades tightly drawn until further notice, which will be delivered in person by a suitably non-threatening individual (the school is currently in negotiations with Tom Hanks) so as to preclude the necessity of accessing the Internet, where any number of unsavory opinions might be lurking.
We thought all artists were people of color…?
Thursday, 19 November
Their message to the protesters is a simple one: when you’re right, all speech tends to substantiate your position.
Sure, what student doesn’t aspire to collect an easy A from a feel-good course rather than doing real, actual work?
He just wants to make sure college professors understand that when a law mentions buildings, it also applies to the rooms inside those buildings.
Friday, 20 November
We actually agree that honoring Woodrow Wilson is shameful, although for much better reasons.
Surely they just wanted to make the labor union and social justice advocates who were on campus to tell students about non-corporate career options feel at home.
If “a guide to BDSM in the dorm room” is something they consider “applicable to student experiences,” Harvard probably hasn’t changed a bit since it played host to John Kennedy.