The Weekly Roundup (2/13/16-2/19/16)
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Saturday, 13 February
He claimed the full context would vindicate him, so we checked. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t
Monday, 15 February
What does it say about an institution when a pro-communist labor organizer is given pride of place over those who actually contributed to the country’s greatness? Nothing we haven’t been saying for years...
By our count, that makes strike two, and strike three could be on the horizon if it turns out that she lied about not having any contact with the protesters prior to engaging in those hysterics.
He must have thought himself sooooo witty when he offered to rape pro-life women as an “experiment.” For our part, we think the joke is much funnier now that it’s on him.
Tuesday, 16 February
Why not just give ‘em the darn piece of paper and be done with it...? Sorry, what was that? We were daydreaming about Bernie’s college plan.
What happened to figuring it out for yourself in the back of your dad’s Buick before you even got to college?
Who cares what emotions they’re feeling when they commit acts of political violence?
Their silence speaks volumes, which, ironically, is exactly what they prevent their students from doing.
Wednesday, 17 February
He’s actually Hispanic, so what does that make George Zimmerman?
*Phew* For a minute there, we were afraid they were going to tighten their policies just because one idiot threatened to rape someone’s family over a difference of opinion.
And if anybody actually listened to college radio stations, the FCC could actually do something about it.
When NPR criticizes you, you know you’re either a Republican or else in dire straits, indeed.
It’s a clever gambit, but they’re forgetting one thing: the majority will obviously vote for the most racist, oppressive choice available, necessitating sit-ins, chanting, the whole shebang.
Couldn't even wait until Scalia was physically buried before attempting to bury his legacy, huh?
Thursday, 18 February
The height of protest these days is sitting on your duff for hours on end. What happened to the spirited protests of the sixties?
Incredibly, one school has made the list two years running.
There's a reason Milo Yiannopoulos is, in his own words, the "Most Dangerous Faggot."
Mistakes were made, alright, but it's difficult to say yelling for muscle to manhandle a reporter or telling a cop to "get your fucking hands off me!" were "mistakes" rather than "deliberate actions that were later regretted."
There's an entire week for talking about the "politics of pleasure," a "sexy" arts and crafts class, and a free STI screening.
Friday, 19 February
When you're proposing a restriction on guns that some are comparing to Barney Fife only being allowed to carry one bullet, you might be veering a little close to self-parody.
It's just so hard being expected to keep up with your academics while you're changing the world!
At least there was no fake menstrual blood this time!
Apparently, the student body's values don't include "tasty."