The Weekly Roundup (2/22/16-2/26/16)

Monday, February 22

Law profs analyze Scalia’s legacy, conclude that he lacked ‘empathy’

Wasn’t that kind of the point? That he ruled based on the law rather than his emotional reaction to a case?

Bucknell students condemn ‘cowardly’ reaction to ‘Most Dangerous Faggot’ event

Right, so just a refresher: your rights end where the rights of others begin.

Duke protesters enraged over ‘Kappa Kops’ party

Yep, surely if we just abolish prisons and Greek life, all of America’s problems will just fall by the wayside...

Tuesday, February 23

UMD speech instructor belittles student as ‘cute’ for ‘mansplaining’

Actually, he was asking her to do the ‘splaining, but of course the grad student teaching the course had to cut off any implication that she might be fallible.

Former ACLU prez blames liberal faculties for breakdown of free speech on campuses

They seem to have reversed course on that issue once they realized that some people would use free speech to disagree with them. Hey, we never said they were perceptive.

UMD LGBTQ+ study abroad program sends students to learn from gay monks in Thailand

We hear the homosexual scene in Bangkok is quite tame these days, presenting nary a danger to over-intoxicated college students hoping to vacation for a semester.

Mizzou students petition for Melissa Click to be fired

And unlike the students who precipitated the ouster of the Chancellor and President, these students actually had logical reasons why “Ms. Muscle” should get the axe.

Wednesday, February 24

USC paying students to claim they have been ‘oppressed’

Why, though? College students have shown themselves perfectly willing to fabricate and exaggerate allegations of racism for free.

Grammar guide teaches ‘unbiased language’ to protect ‘special interest groups’

It’s one redeeming quality is that it serves as an excellent example of bad grammar; a sort of highlight reel for mangled syntax.

Diversity conference claims it’s mean to call a woman ‘blonde’

But what if she is blonde?

VIDEO: Protesters threaten conservative student group over pro-life flyers

The bias response team is on the case … but only to make sure nobody is ever offended by a political opinion again.

Thursday, February 25

NDSU fight song deemed ‘troubling’ for ‘cultural and ethnic references’

Thank goodness for bias reports. Otherwise, the school never would have known that the third stanza of its theme song waxes optimistically about racial harmony.

U Albany students charged for lying about racist bus attack

Sure, there were racial epithets used, and there were punches thrown, but it turns out the accusers were the instigators. Talk about projecting.

Mizzou protesters accuse administration of working to ‘uphold white supremacy’

Hey, it’s probably a more effective rhetorical device than rehashing those dubious, and in many cases discredited, allegations of racism.

BREAKING: Mizzou curators vote to fire Melissa Click

Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye

Student groups says UMN has ‘social responsibility’ to divest from Israel

Why, just imagine what those nefarious Israelis might do with unlimited access to construction equipment. They might even build an economy in the region.

Friday, February 26

90 Framingham profs use in-class lectures to promote Black Lives Matter

Apparently they were tired of nobody showing up when their proselytizing was optional.

Harvard scraps ‘house master’ title because it ‘causes discomfort’

So do hemorrhoids. Ban them, too.

Mizzou prez tells protesters ‘time for demands has passed’

Wait, so threats and ultimatums aren’t standard components of civilized discourse?