The Weekly Roundup (2/22/16-2/26/16)
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Monday, February 22
Wasn’t that kind of the point? That he ruled based on the law rather than his emotional reaction to a case?
Right, so just a refresher: your rights end where the rights of others begin.
Yep, surely if we just abolish prisons and Greek life, all of America’s problems will just fall by the wayside...
Tuesday, February 23
Actually, he was asking her to do the ‘splaining, but of course the grad student teaching the course had to cut off any implication that she might be fallible.
They seem to have reversed course on that issue once they realized that some people would use free speech to disagree with them. Hey, we never said they were perceptive.
We hear the homosexual scene in Bangkok is quite tame these days, presenting nary a danger to over-intoxicated college students hoping to vacation for a semester.
And unlike the students who precipitated the ouster of the Chancellor and President, these students actually had logical reasons why “Ms. Muscle” should get the axe.
Wednesday, February 24
Why, though? College students have shown themselves perfectly willing to fabricate and exaggerate allegations of racism for free.
It’s one redeeming quality is that it serves as an excellent example of bad grammar; a sort of highlight reel for mangled syntax.
But what if she is blonde?
The bias response team is on the case … but only to make sure nobody is ever offended by a political opinion again.
Thursday, February 25
Thank goodness for bias reports. Otherwise, the school never would have known that the third stanza of its theme song waxes optimistically about racial harmony.
Sure, there were racial epithets used, and there were punches thrown, but it turns out the accusers were the instigators. Talk about projecting.
Hey, it’s probably a more effective rhetorical device than rehashing those dubious, and in many cases discredited, allegations of racism.
Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye
Why, just imagine what those nefarious Israelis might do with unlimited access to construction equipment. They might even build an economy in the region.
Friday, February 26
Apparently they were tired of nobody showing up when their proselytizing was optional.
So do hemorrhoids. Ban them, too.
Wait, so threats and ultimatums aren’t standard components of civilized discourse?