The Weekly Roundup: When congressmen don't think colleges have a First Amendment problem

Monday, March 7

Congressional Democrats dismiss concerns about censorship on campus

And why wouldn’t they? Their side is the one doing all the censoring!

Tennessee students interrupt basketball game to protest diversity funding cuts

They had to interrupt a basketball game, of course. If they’d tried to interrupt a football game, nobody would’ve heard them over the constant refrains of “Rocky Top.”

Tuesday, March 8

USC student senator faces impeachment for being conservative

If the Greeks had wanted to sack Troy more quickly, all they’d have had to do was invite Milo Yiannopoulos and Ben Shapiro to speak there!

Law dean worried about fallout from ‘inaccurate’ research on race-based admissions policies

Should you really have to file a lawsuit to get admissions data? If that data has to do with race, the answer is evidently “yes.”

Georgia profs. worry they may be shot by students with concealed weapons

What sort of cruel torments are they inflicting on students that this would actually be a concern?

Providence protesters unhappy with huge concessions, demand more

Anything short of complete and total capitulation is insufficient, you cis-heteropatriarchal scum.

10 student senators face potential impeachment after voting against diversity bill

In other words, students want the senators removed from office for … doing their jobs.

Wednesday, March 9

Oberlin leaders call profs. anti-Semitic posts ‘abhorrent’ and ‘repugnant’

The only stereotypes missing were things about money lending and organ harvesting.

UC Davis Women’s Center offers ‘mind spa services’ for those upset by pro-life display

After reading this story, though, you may feel like the one who needs a mind spa. We sure felt that way after writing it.

Pitt students harass classmate while denouncing hate speech

Live tweeting an event is now enough to make you (and your parents!) the target of a witch hunt.

Student protesters want to replace oppressive 'history' with 'hxstory'

If the new name is pronounced phonetically, doesn’t that seem a little insensitive toward hicks?

Melissa Click says she was terminated to appease conservatives, silence black protesters

Sure, it’s a vast right-wing conspiracy, Click. It couldn’t possibly be because you were caught on film harassing a student reporter and even older footage showed you screaming expletives at cops, now could it?

Thursday, March 10

UPDATE: Impeachment threats grease passage of Colorado State diversity bill

We were almost ready to award them our “Wieners of the Week” award, but we just couldn’t overlook the folks at UC Irvine (see below).

Mizzou short on cash and desperate for students after semester of protests

That must have surprised Mizzou administrators … and no one else.

Friday, March 11

KU Senate ponders fee hike to fund ‘Multicultural Student Government’

Surely students will be eager to chip in for a redundant, racially-divisive organization whose sole purpose is likely to be hurling accusations of racism.

UCI students hysterically bemoan loss of safe space due to social media joke

Arguing that a private Facebook post is equivalent to “physical violence” might be just a touch melodramatic…