The Weekly Roundup: The most hyperbolous week ever! In the history of the world!
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Monday, April 18
Hey, if you’re going to ask for new rules, especially ones that limit free speech, you ought to at least be willing to follow the speech-inhibiting rules that are already in place, right?
If they were cold, or just needed a little electricity, they could always have gone back to their dorm rooms. Just sayin’...
No surprises here, though. Nothing has ever been enough for those protesters. Remember how they were satisfied after getting the President and Chancellor both fired? Exactly.
One can only hope that pre-med courses are conducted a safe distance from campus, or at the very least in a locked, windowless room.
If someone were to declare the person responsible for this policy a “dick,” would that also be prohibited?
Unsurprisingly, the group behind the ad is a little rusty on their grade school math, but if they would just divide two by five, they would find that even their grossly exaggerated statistic is nowhere near 100 percent.
Tuesday, April 19
Why, that would be “ableist,” and they can’t have anyone thinking that wheelchair-bound students aren’t welcome to embarrass themselves just like anybody else.
Everybody already knows that guns walk around autonomously shooting people at random, but were you aware that that paintings of guns are almost as dangerous?
Pro tip: When fabricating Facebook and Reddit exchanges, it is important to keep track of which account is supposed to be sending each message. Otherwise you end up looking as foolish as these wannabe provocateurs.
Wednesday, April 20
If you can believe it, this actually represented a high point for sophisticated discourse among the protesters.
“Thank you. It’s so great to be recognized after working so tirelessly for so long in the struggle against disagreeable ideas,” they presumably began their acceptance speeches.
Of course, the conservatives haven’t said anything that isn’t factually accurate, and the liberals haven’t said anything that isn’t hysterical, self-righteous whining.
Thursday, April 21
Well, as Nana always used to say: If it’s lying on the ground, it must be a rug, so go ahead and step on it.
Another piece of “art” on the level of “Piss Christ.”
Sounds like they’ve been listening to Bernie Sanders a little too credulously.
Those heartless wretches! Don’t they know that athletes shrivel up and die without an occasional offering of meaningless platitudes?
Moreover, if the school’s core traditions, and even its nickname, are offensive to these students, one is forced to wonder why they chose to attend OU in the first place.
Great, the one time UW students decide to support “God,” they’re actually demanding immunity for a graffiti artist whose crimes against society are exceeded only by his offenses against grammar.
On the plus side, inviting a violent radical to speak at an event honoring someone who endured far greater injustice with infinitely more grace and patience does serve to highlight the petulance of the BLM movement.
Friday, April 22
Our favorite part was the protester who held a sign saying “free speech ≠ hate speech” throughout Milo’s entire speech, apparently never realizing that it was actually an endorsement of Yiannopoulos’s position.
Saturday, April 23
Either it had never occurred to her that being the mother of one of the “#Clemson5” protest leaders might affect her ability to run the school’s investigation of the matter impartially, or, more likely, it had.