The Weekly Roundup: Watching the watchers

Campus Reform Reporter

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  • The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn't
  • Monday 4 July

    Profs mock administrators for shouting down speech on campus

    "One would think those living up in cold Connecticut would be familiar with the slippery slope."   

    Being academics, though, they tactfully refrained from outright calling them ignorant, untrained, money-grubbing, delusional fascists.

    At least, they didn’t use those exact words.

    Tuesday 5 July

    “Ban the Box” good for criminals, bad for diversity, study shows

    A change to the old “curiosity killed the cat” maxim is in order. Much like the cat, universities of the SJW persuasion have long been known for their devious and self-serving nature. But across the nation, these felinesque institutions are paying the price as their research slowly reveals their recklessness.

    From UNC taking down its microaggressions guidelines to Mizzou squashing its own inclusivity guide, the recent retreat of the ivory towers has proven that while curiosity may not kill the cat, it sure does humiliate it.

    Law prof: microaggressions can be evidence of illegal discrimination

    Oh? And what of hounding people over innocent comments that were never even intended to offend?

    UMass prof brags about shoehorning social justice into every course she teaches

    Social Justice Deity is pleased with xir’s newest devotee. Unfortunately, when scanning xir’s Victim Stack, xe realizes that Professor Amanda Ruth Waugh Lagji has accrued a mere one Oppression Point, and this one for being a female, you know, the minority that is a statistical majority in the United States.

    So, Prof. Lagji, while your commitment to SocJus is appreciated, Social Justice Deity demands more self-flagellation from you, you white, privileged American. Fortunately, xe hears that you are seeking that thing, acquisition of which permits you to morph into SJW Final Form and completely indoctrinate malleable minds using Marxist magic without risk of losing your job. You know...tenure.

    Proliferation of Bias Response Teams generates backlash

    UC Santa Cruz has established a “first responder to bias-related incidents.” If this seems like a bit of a paradox, it’s probably because you’re a bigot.

    You see, according to Google, a “first responder” is “someone designated or trained to respond to an emergency.” Indeed, there are a plethora of bias emergencies, a whole deluge of racist, sexist, transmisogynistic slights that require prestigious, prodigious, progressive professors to drop whatever they’re doing and nurse the wounds of the aggrieved childr—er, adults.

    Because what if a student who is not white gets asked where they’re from, or gets told that their traditional garment doesn’t fit with the rest of their attire? No, “first responders” are necessary to prevent slain feelings, or, Social Justice Deity forbid, a tear from a fragile, manchild snowflake.

    Obama admin refuses to visit colleges that ‘mishandle’ sexual assault

    Let him be clear: Schools that ignore his odious directives will not only be free from government’s grabbing hands, but also won’t have to put up with any more visits from Obama.

    Fraternity lets government decide who qualifies to be a ‘brother’

    And they’re not talking about being a “band of brothers,” either.

    Wednesday 6 July

    WSU president gets diversity award after dropping math requirement

    Well, finally! I mean, participation awards helped water down the concept of meritocracy, but people still had to actually do something to earn those.

    Liberal profs outnumber conservatives 28-to-1 in New England

    Now, if we could just build an enclosure around the region...

    UNC prof shares tale of censorship by Bias Response Team

    It seems they kept right on censoring him, too, because this professor bears very little resemblance to the compliant lapdog portrayed in the BRT report.

    Survey: Dartmouth students prefer nonwhite faculty, classmates

    *Clap clap clap* No, but really, The New York Times deserves some applause for burying the lede so thoroughly in their piece entitled “What do college students really think about diversity? We asked.” The clickbait is entirely understandable - the Times couldn’t control the results of the survey! It’s not their fault a preference for nonwhite faculty and classmates didn’t fit the narrative. Why should they have to pay the price of doing quality journalism?

    Anti-gun prof calls for shooting up NRA, ensuring ‘no survivors’

    He claims we’re just missing the “humor” in his “joke.” It seems to us more like the humor is missing from his joke.

    Hillary caves, adopts Sanders’ tuition-free college plan

    Y’know, Hillary, the “to the left/to the left/to the left” lyrics of “The Cupid Shuffle” weren’t meant to be taken as political instruction.

    Feds make K-State investigate off-campus rape accusation

    At least they’re done pretending that the public universities aren’t just another law enforcement agency with fewer constitutional limitations.

    Thursday 7 July

    CT universities helping illegals skirt state enrollment bans

    Must be careful to avoid typos, here. It would be quite another matter entirely if the schools were helping illegal skirts state enrollment bans.

    Liberal academics resist NRA, NSSF grants for shooting clubs

    Because school shootings have been perpetrated by squads of crack right-wing student groups?

    DePaul removes ratings system, refuses to let Milo return

    And in that order, too; which is pretty much the only intelligent thing about their decision.

    TX prof’s file suit to block ‘dangerously experimental’ gun rights on campuses

    We’d hate to lose campus carry, but this might be a precedent worth setting. We’d love it if government were forbidden from doing anything experimental.

    Female student sues UC for trying to help female physicists

    Good grief. Now we’re suing because we were denied our preference on lab partners?

    UA imposes diversity mandates on Greek organizations

    When the ancient Greeks had diversity imposed upon them, it ruined their country forever. Just sayin’.

    Friday 8 July

    Yale works toward Calhoun-less Calhoun College

    One would think those living up in cold Connecticut would be familiar with the slippery slope.

    UMD conference to honor Marxist revolutionary, ‘black feminist sexual politics’

    Sexual politics? Is Bill Clinton going to be there?

    The event is called “Reimagining Everything,” a name which does a pretty splendid job encapsulating the identity politic movement. This is because, contrary to what those with reason and a grain of sense might believe, politics actually derives from the race, gender, and sexuality of its participants and has absolutely nothing to do with silly, irrelevant crap like opinions or ideas.

    STUDY: Liberal-dominated faculty out of step with population

    It would seem their little plan isn’t working, after all. As university faculties grow more liberal, their former students remain consistently conservative.

    Who says sleeping through class is a bad thing?



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