The Weekly Roundup: Watching the watchers
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn't
Monday 4 July
Being academics, though, they tactfully refrained from outright calling them ignorant, untrained, money-grubbing, delusional fascists.
At least, they didn’t use those exact words.
Tuesday 5 July
A change to the old “curiosity killed the cat” maxim is in order. Much like the cat, universities of the SJW persuasion have long been known for their devious and self-serving nature. But across the nation, these felinesque institutions are paying the price as their research slowly reveals their recklessness.
From UNC taking down its microaggressions guidelines to Mizzou squashing its own inclusivity guide, the recent retreat of the ivory towers has proven that while curiosity may not kill the cat, it sure does humiliate it.
Oh? And what of hounding people over innocent comments that were never even intended to offend?
Social Justice Deity is pleased with xir’s newest devotee. Unfortunately, when scanning xir’s Victim Stack, xe realizes that Professor Amanda Ruth Waugh Lagji has accrued a mere one Oppression Point, and this one for being a female, you know, the minority that is a statistical majority in the United States.
So, Prof. Lagji, while your commitment to SocJus is appreciated, Social Justice Deity demands more self-flagellation from you, you white, privileged American. Fortunately, xe hears that you are seeking that thing, acquisition of which permits you to morph into SJW Final Form and completely indoctrinate malleable minds using Marxist magic without risk of losing your job. You know...tenure.
UC Santa Cruz has established a “first responder to bias-related incidents.” If this seems like a bit of a paradox, it’s probably because you’re a bigot.
You see, according to Google, a “first responder” is “someone designated or trained to respond to an emergency.” Indeed, there are a plethora of bias emergencies, a whole deluge of racist, sexist, transmisogynistic slights that require prestigious, prodigious, progressive professors to drop whatever they’re doing and nurse the wounds of the aggrieved childr—er, adults.
Because what if a student who is not white gets asked where they’re from, or gets told that their traditional garment doesn’t fit with the rest of their attire? No, “first responders” are necessary to prevent slain feelings, or, Social Justice Deity forbid, a tear from a fragile, manchild snowflake.
Let him be clear: Schools that ignore his odious directives will not only be free from government’s grabbing hands, but also won’t have to put up with any more visits from Obama.
And they’re not talking about being a “band of brothers,” either.
Wednesday 6 July
Well, finally! I mean, participation awards helped water down the concept of meritocracy, but people still had to actually do something to earn those.
Now, if we could just build an enclosure around the region...
It seems they kept right on censoring him, too, because this professor bears very little resemblance to the compliant lapdog portrayed in the BRT report.
*Clap clap clap* No, but really, The New York Times deserves some applause for burying the lede so thoroughly in their piece entitled “What do college students really think about diversity? We asked.” The clickbait is entirely understandable - the Times couldn’t control the results of the survey! It’s not their fault a preference for nonwhite faculty and classmates didn’t fit the narrative. Why should they have to pay the price of doing quality journalism?
He claims we’re just missing the “humor” in his “joke.” It seems to us more like the humor is missing from his joke.
Y’know, Hillary, the “to the left/to the left/to the left” lyrics of “The Cupid Shuffle” weren’t meant to be taken as political instruction.
At least they’re done pretending that the public universities aren’t just another law enforcement agency with fewer constitutional limitations.
Thursday 7 July
Must be careful to avoid typos, here. It would be quite another matter entirely if the schools were helping illegal skirts state enrollment bans.
Because school shootings have been perpetrated by squads of crack right-wing student groups?
And in that order, too; which is pretty much the only intelligent thing about their decision.
We’d hate to lose campus carry, but this might be a precedent worth setting. We’d love it if government were forbidden from doing anything experimental.
Good grief. Now we’re suing because we were denied our preference on lab partners?
When the ancient Greeks had diversity imposed upon them, it ruined their country forever. Just sayin’.
Friday 8 July
One would think those living up in cold Connecticut would be familiar with the slippery slope.
Sexual politics? Is Bill Clinton going to be there?
The event is called “Reimagining Everything,” a name which does a pretty splendid job encapsulating the identity politic movement. This is because, contrary to what those with reason and a grain of sense might believe, politics actually derives from the race, gender, and sexuality of its participants and has absolutely nothing to do with silly, irrelevant crap like opinions or ideas.
It would seem their little plan isn’t working, after all. As university faculties grow more liberal, their former students remain consistently conservative.
Who says sleeping through class is a bad thing?