The Weekly Roundup: A bad lie and a hard truth
Monday 5 September
"It’s true: jokes are much less funny without the punchline."
Phew! It might have been a bit embarrassing for the GOP to explain what its candidates had done to deserve the support of Ivy League professors.
Tuesday 6 September
The fascists don’t even care who wrote them, and advise students to be vigilant about what others write on their whiteboards.
Too bad for them that the NKVD isn’t accepting applications anymore.
Perhaps they can come up with an alternative reason to cover it up.
It is a rather ugly mural, after all, and the fact that it was funded by the New Deal makes it even more objectionable.
What else would you expect from someone whose job title is Vice President for Diversity and Inclusion?
Probably because they make broad generalizations about other races, huh?
The Dean of Students assures us the purpose is merely to “manage” things so that they don’t “get out of control.”
Glad we got that one cleared up, comrade.
At least they’re not abusing their offices for political purposes.
Well, DePaul certainly could use a refresher on the concept of free speech, but we think they could expand the roster of lecturers even further.
Might we suggest Ben Shapiro and Milo Yiannopoulos?
Wednesday 7 September
Vandy’s lawyers probably just didn’t want to have to make the argument that his health would be jeopardized if he weren’t covered for gender reassignment surgery.
Odds are the school wasn’t happy that his private policy didn’t cover abortions, either.
Boy, those SJP folks just hate it when people follow the rules...
Don’t worry; they have absolutely no discretion over the matter, and the university is probably not going to fall all over itself to return Ailes’ generous donation.
On the plus side, it’s always nice when a legislative body spends its time on meaningless posturing rather than finding new ways to impose upon its constituents.
And not a moment too soon, either, from what we’ve seen of the male student population at Brown.
Thursday 8 September
Yikes. Imagine how much trouble those students are going to have paying back their student loans.
Besides, doesn’t it seem a bit redundant to offer a degree in social justice? It’s already a college, after all.
Of course, that was pretty much the point. Nobody said boo about “Welcome Black Week.”
Are we to believe that their Orwellian behavior was merely the product of a name?
As Shakespeare would almost certainly write: “A bias response team, by any other name, would smell as foul.”
Yet only 3.8 percent said students had requested them. So, as we’ve been saying all along, this inanity is comin straight from the top.
One could practically hear them grinding their teeth as they grumpily acknowledge their obligation to allow the exhibit, thanks to that pesky First Amendment.
Ironically, the liberal students actually accused the College Republicans of being “pieces of shit” while ripping up the standee and snatching phones from people’s hands.
Friday 9 September
It’s a simple matter of respect: If you’re going to lie to someone, at least have the decency to do it well.
Besides, all he had to say was, “Oops! Sorry! I accidentally clicked ‘select all’,” and this whole thing would have just gone away.
Mind you, she blames the attacks on “U.S. Imperialism,” which makes her an odd choice to chair the History Department.
While filling out their application for world domination, the SJWs remembered the connotatively good names like “diversity” and “inclusivity” but seemed to have forgotten to edit the Orwellian nature of the actual concepts.
So, it’s both ineffective and redundant?
It’s true: jokes are much less funny without the punchline.
Sunday 11 September
What a poignant sequence of events: cowardly vandals tear down something that had been built up peacefully, so the victims simply rebuild it.