The Weekly Roundup: America the triggering
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Monday, 19 September
The Ghost of Social Justice Past lurks behind you, Dabo: “Disavow...disavow!”
Yes, you know, like the security of progressive edicts.
Unfortunately for him, aborting ideas isn’t so easy.
Ladies and gentlemen: the Ivy League—always on the forefront of progress.
We’re sure this will trim down the number of alumni who plan to take you for a good ol’ Mizzou.
Tuesday, 20 September
Unindoctrinated Americans: Harvard prof. a cancer to civilized society
They were probably during AM hours. You know, the time of day when people who’ve actually worked a day in their lives and know what the hell they’re talking about are up and about.
Has more of a ring to it than “segregation now, segregation tomorrow and segregation forever,” doesn’t it?
Well, if you can’t beat ‘em, try to shut ‘em up, right?
Beyond the total lack of self-awareness, the use of “capitalists” as a pejorative is perhaps the funniest part.
At least he still has the exquisite fedora fashion sense of our managing editor.
Let’s just hope Ramapo’s administrators can find a nice, safe space to ensconce themselves in this July.
Wednesday, 21 September
We won’t dispute that rankings give people the power to force universities into competition; we just consider it a good thing.
Still, it’s not nearly as bad as serving tacos in the dining hall.
She was just protecting her students, of course. If not for her, the chalk certainly would have congealed into a white supremacist with goofy hair.
They’re operating from the premise that non-inclusive chalk phantasms can’t cross blue tape.
Thursday, 22 September
We bow to the strength of his reasoning.
No, not really. We were just doubled over convulsing with laughter.
Imagine that—an American university not granting admission to someone who is breaking American law!
If a protest takes place on a college campus, and there’s nobody there to cover it, does it make a sound?
One would think that the college football playoffs would have satisfied their hunger for ineffectual solutions longer than that.
Friday, 23 September
They say it’s a show of “symbolic support” for the school community.
Let’s just bear in mind that the University of Vermont is in Vermont, a state that is nearly 95 percent white.
Wow, the thought police are getting shriller. We wouldn’t have thought that was possible.
He really should have known better than to let someone else post his stories on Facebook.
His editors would have had no problem with him expressing conservative opinions, but they couldn’t stand the idea of somebody hearing them.
You know this is directed at conservatives because no self-respecting liberal would dare to read a work of classic literature without a trigger warning, a sippy cup, and a comfort blankie.
Yeah, we couldn’t believe it, either, but the Chancellor actually said contrary opinions are not actually threats.
Well, unless one is a liberal, in which case they threaten (quite harshly) to undermine one’s entire worldview.