The Weekly Roundup: All Hallows' Eve Edition

  • The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.

Monday 24 October

Smith College hires firm to operate 24/7 ‘bias response’ hotline

Operator: What bias would you like to report? Caller: The mainstream media Operator: *hangup*   

Operator: What bias would you like to report?

Caller: The mainstream media

Operator: *hangup*

Sorority claims ‘whites wanting to be black’ is ‘white privilege’

Sounds more like “white naiveté” to us, but whatever.

'Perils' of 'inadvertently' seeing Milo too great, NYU says

If these students can’t take Milo, how did they ever make it through grade school?

NYU prof attacks ‘viral identity politics of academia’

Regrettably, too many people today refuse to let their memes be memes.

Tuesday 25 October

Textbook claims American exceptionalism has 'racist overtones'

Americans claim textbook has exceptional ridiculous overtones.

Don't say 'man up,' 'like a girl,' Chico State athletes say

What about “Man up like a girl?”

Hofstra students hold safe space to discuss new safe spaces

Ooh, very meta.

Berkeley students barricade bridge, force whites to cross creek

Geez, even trolls let you cross if you pay them...

Free-tuition activists stoked over arrests for blocking Michigan Ave

We imagine commuters were pretty thrilled when they saw Pigpen and his pals being dragged off, too.

Wednesday 26 October

REPORT: 'victim-centered' view of sex assault erodes due process

Also, the sky is blue. More at six.

Pro-life students challenge Christian school's cozy ties to PP

How many allegedly Christian institutions could fairly be said to follow their professed religion these days, anyway?

Pro-abortion CSULA prof freaks out at Star Parker event

We sincerely hope the professor was sent to bed without any dessert after her little tantrum there.

Iowa condemns 'offensive' flyers protesting anti-white racism

We can only interpret this to mean that the University of Iowa supports anti-white racism.

REPORT: Mizzou among worst schools for viewpoint diversity

Why? Just because you’re liable to be “muscled” off campus if you don’t express the right viewpoint?

College warns against 'deplorable and problematic' costumes

It seems Hillary has been taking time away from the campaign to weigh in on the costume debate.

Clinton campaign rakes in cash from University of California

Yeah, to the tune of about 140 TIMES the amount UC employees donated to Trump.

Thursday 27 October

Pro-Hillary students busted for campaigning with school resources

Too bad they were phone banking and not sending emails; they might have gotten away scot-free.

UT students fly into rage over 'affirmative action bake sale'

Perhaps they were lactose intolerant.

VIDEO: Pro-Trump Pitt students have table flipped, lit stolen

Watch out. Here comes the tolerant left.

Student gov 'recommends' college fly BLM flag, endorse movement

What is this, The Godfather?

Charcoal beauty masks cause 'blackface' uproar at SUNY Potsdam

Absurd as this situation is, it does serve as a reminder that there’s really nothing to be gained from sharing the most mundane details of one’s life with the world.

Frat charity event falls victim to feminist concerns at UMD

Unfortunately, “Radical feminist steals money from domestic abuse survivors by spreading unsubstantiated rumors that pageant ‘objectifies women’ because some sorority girls got drunk and danced ‘promiscuously’” was too long of a headline.

Campus cops: free speech needs 'approval' from college

Then it’s not really “free,” is it?

Friday 28 October

College fears 'war paint' could 'threaten our sense of community'

Depends. If it’s a community of pioneers in the Old West, then yeah, we suppose war paint probably would seem pretty threatening.

Specter of renewed protests spurs costume caution at Ithaca

Does the Associated Collegiate Press offer a Virtue-Signaling award, yet?

'Consent talks' now required at door for Berkeley frat parties

They should have just gone with the other option they considered, which was to ban non-Greek students from frat parties. The end result would have been the same, but they could have skipped right past the intermittent step of rendering the parties too tedious to attend.

K-State tells students they have 'no right to not be offended'

We’d be willing to bet that some students are going to be offended by that.

Sierra plans ban on braids, ‘offensive’ costumes in annual costume contest

Unless, of course, one appropriates appropriately, which basically means you can make fun of anyone within two or three shades of your own skin color.



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20 Articles by Sterling Beard