The Weekly Roundup: Because 2016 can only get so much odder

  • The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.

Monday 21 November

IU defends purchases of baby brains

It’s for the greater good. Trust us.

Smith College SJP hosts ‘Anti-Colonial Thanksgiving’

Did they confuse Plymouth Rock with the Dome of the Rock?

UO offers sanctuary to illegal immigrant students

“I don’t know what ‘sanctuary’ means,” said the president.

UNH profs call for expulsion of Trump supporters

Ladies and gents, the tolerant left.

Universities begin to declare themselves ‘sanctuary campuses’

UMD prez urges anti-Trump protesters to bide their time

“Don’t do anything drastic like riot or make up hate crimes.”

Message mocking Trump trauma investigated as ‘hate crime’

They’ve made trolling too easy. Sad!

Tuesday 22 November

Liberal law dean resigns after pushing conservatives too far

CSU Chancellor pledges to resist immigration enforcement

The virtue-signaling is strong with this one.

Universities prepare faculty for ‘catastrophic’ Thanksgiving

We heard they collectively agreed to title their guide “How to Maintain Your Echo Chamber for Four Days Out in the Real World.”

Obama WH looks to protect social justice efforts from Trump

Fat chance!

Students prep for ‘fundamentally different viewpoints’ at Thanksgiving

Wait, isn’t that what the classes are supposed to have been doing?

Wednesday 23 November

Universities offer tips for having a ‘green’ Thanksgiving

And they don’t mean getting sick from your aunt’s green bean casserole.

GW admin creates ‘safe space’ for students traumatized by Trump

They’re all going to be concentrated in one place, away from the general public? We feel safer already.

UNC students taunt Trump while blocking traffic

We don’t know which is scarier; their lack of respect for election results, or their insistence that “pussy grabs back.”

UNH will not punish Trump supporters dressed as Harambe, Nixon

Well, 2016 doesn’t have much time left to get any stranger.

Thursday 24 November

VIDEO: Students bewilderedly thankful for Obama

There’s not really any other way to be thankful for the last eight years, frankly.

Another pro-Trump ‘hate crime’ deemed a hoax

Surprise!



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20 Articles by Sterling Beard