The Weekly Roundup: The absurdity continues
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Monday 5 December
That whole “debt repayment” thing—who needs that?
In Social Justice Warrior: The Game, the only place in America these mythical villains systemically exist!
...Because white is a color?
Did it take an Ivy League president to bestow this enlightenment?
Is it “right” as in “correct?”
It sure would be interesting to discover the correlation between progressives and sufferers of schizophrenia.
Well, at least they’re practicing what they’re preaching.
To be clear, he’s demanding to know whether or not his colleagues believe in "white power" and multiculturalism.
Tuesday 6 December
It takes a full eight weeks for the brainwashing to be complete.
If they don’t want to be American, why should they want funds from the American government?
Personally, we can’t wait until it’s all over but the crying.
We agree—thought crime is not punished severely enough!
Aren't superheroes typically known for their resistance to hysteria?
Certainly one for the syllabus.
Wednesday 7 December
Remember: silence is violence! So, too, is insufficiently loud condemnation!
What happened to that whole “inclusion” thing?
Well, at least liberals are admitting that illegal immigration isn’t actually a race issue...at least until it’s convenient
Yes, the victim of the theft should’ve just used Find My iPhone’s shrieking siren, instead.
Thursday 8 December
They sure do put the “ass” in “guilt by association,” don't they?
On the upside, getting worse nights of sleep will make them less effective protesters.
You know, it’s almost as if the concept of universities nullifying federal law is wishful thinking.
Who has any need to blame ideology when you could just blame racism?
Friday 9 December
Remember, it’s not that he was attempting to kill people and the cop shot him to stop lives from being lost—it’s that a cop shot him.
While wearing Nikes, naturally.
Ohio State isn’t likely to allow campus carry, but this at least opens the door to that possibility.
Remember when college students wanted to get jobs?
Believe it or not, “corn hole” doesn’t have any sexual connotations here.
We thought the appropriate term favored by the administration was “man-caused disaster?”
Being good at sports and serving in the military contribute to sexual assault?
Reminds us of that time a prof wanted to call the cops on ROTC students.
Yes, every major, including natural sciences.