The Weekly Roundup: giving 'prepper' a new meaning!
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Tuesday 3 January
The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.
CAUTION: Testosterone ahead.
Alright, so “defends” might be a bit strong. But “offers flippant, unconvincing justifications for” is a bit wordy.
What is there to hide?
Oh, well; it was ugly anyway.
Wednesday 4 January
Imagine parents’ weekend, but all year long.
On second thought, don’t; it’s far too shudder-inducing.
The president-elect is frightful/ but liberals are so delightful/ and since we’ve two weeks to go/ just say no, just say no, just say no.
The Liberal Creed: Everyone I disagree with is Hitler.
In country, in state, right?
But it’s okay for liberals to be offended by the American flag...
Does increasing taxes to pay for something really mean it is free?
Who cares about that tax exempt status, anyway?
Thursday 5 January
The mean girls want their burn book back.
Of course he is; he’s the man who helped desegregate his state’s schools and insisted on the death penalty for the head of the Alabama KKK.
In liberals’ minds, he’ll never be able to overcome the original sin of his white privilege.
It would probably work better if we just fought hypocrisy by banning Berkeley students.
But then, we would never do that, because that would fascist.
But then how will all the attendees know when to do the wave?
Good. Let them walk out...of the country.
We admire his conviction, but we’re sure going to miss his vote when Portland Community College comes up with its next wacky progressive idea.
Friday 6 January
2017 can’t be any worse… right?
Ha! Just kidding. We’re licking our chops at what absurdities progressive students will commit after inauguration.
It’s almost as though there wasn’t a problem to fix!
The fact that he felt compelled to make the case against punishing a colleague for wearing a costume at a private party in her own home really says it all...
That’ll show ‘em.
And given how easy it will be for them to become visible outside the White House windows, Trump will probably take notice. Keep an eye on Twitter.