The Weekly Roundup: Ostriches on campus!
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Monday 16 January
We counter that Trump’s victory was actually a product of running against white, heterosexual Hillary Clinton.
Gee, why wouldn’t they want to allow a bunch of unknown (but presumably grungy) persons to wander freely through residence halls?
“Dead baby jokes” just feel inappropriate here.
Does that mean that toxic masculinity will be caged and/or heavily sedated so that it poses no danger to participants while they mock and demean it?
No wonder liberal students have been clamoring so desperately for tolerance training. They’re sorely in need of it.
Tuesday 17 January
Sure, they were mostly just “preaching to the choir,” but if one ponders on that expression, it does occur that a preacher would most likely practice his sermons while only the choir was present.
So just consider that a warm-up act.
Or should we say, “McAdams still refusing to prostrate himself before PC thugs of Marquette”?
Sounds like they’re talking about themselves!
Admitting you have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery.
That’s a fine way to commemorate a man who preached a message of reconciliation, peace, and understanding.
They’ve merely traded one ineffectual reaction for another, which is just fine by us.
Is the inauguration of the president the country has chosen not itself a “people’s inauguration?”
That’s gotta be one confusing workshop...
They don’t need a symposium. They just need to stop patronizing their students’ PC outrage and come up with a definition of “hate incident” that doesn’t include displaying a crucifix or expressing a political opinion in chalk.
But some “folks” might not “necessarily feel affirmed” by a pro-life message!
Wednesday 18 January
Well, the Inauguration is officially over, and not once did Trump start pummeling a minority.
Is “indoctrinate” too strong a word? Well, in 1984 the Party members only had to endure two minutes of hate; Marquette requires 90 minutes, with punctuality strictly enforced.
Just be grateful that those brave campus police officers were there to foil that dastardly plot to undermine authority by reminding students of their right to be free from unreasonable search and seizure.
But just to be sure they remain ungrabbable: “No observers please.”
In other words, resist! But not too publicly!
Those Yalies really have been acting like unsupervised teenagers in a house with an unlocked liquor cabinet ever since Bill Buckley passed away.
It’s about time that some kindly uncle stepped in to provide some guidance.
It’s not even a Trump thing. It turns out that most liberals are just as obnoxious and close-minded as we always feared.
Thursday 19 January
Apparently griping is a dead language.
Thank goodness those wise grad students were around to teach their wet-behind-the-ears undergraduate peers that Trump is a bigoted, mean-spirited climate denier, and probably hates puppies, too.
Can somebody please make this into a television series? Someone call the History Channel!
We could probably append “(Allegedly)” before any description of a school that uses the phrase “Catholic school.”
“SAY WHAT?!” indeed.
Friday 20 January
What’s tuition at, again?
Oh? Wonder how many people viewed that oath-taking ceremony...
Do students really need to protest anymore, or can we just take as a given that they oppose whatever it is that might be under discussion?
The campus feminists were naturally outraged as such blatant phallic symbolism.
Saturday 21 January
If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it seven or eight times; and if a few (hundred) more professors abuse public resources to lobby for partisan causes, that formulation will eventually have some ring to it.
Let’s hope it never comes to that.
Sunday 22 January
Which is ironic, because pro-lifers would surely welcome feminists to their fold with open arms.