The Weekly Roundup: The 'antifas' plot their next move...
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Monday 13 February
Don’t worry, Duke. They already do.
Sorry we ruined your Black Panther Party...
Now we will never know what was in Elihu Yale’s secret vault…
Shh! They don’t seem to have realized that yet!
It must be easy to attract new members when all you’re asking them to do is sit around.
What surprises us most is that a real, actual lawyer was willing to sign on to this farce.
Gee, who could have predicted that a hunger strike with a predesignated end point would fail?
Tuesday 14 February
One would think the district would be more receptive to parental complaints, considering it’s located in the sort of place where parents have school choice even without the government.
HA! They would have done it for free!
They wouldn’t tell us what those alternatives are supposed to be, though.
Running away? Curling up into a ball? Turning on the waterworks and hoping that it will tug at the assailant’s heartstrings?
Theirs isn’t really working, though. It hasn’t prevented anyone from entering the library.
So, they’re trying to promote inter-faith relations by sending Muslims greeting cards for a Christian holiday?
Are they sure they’re not actually just trying to annoy people?
But Gov. Cuomo ignored her until the last minute.
It was for her own good, of course, because one never knows whether she would have decided to switch genders while she was down there, in which case using public restrooms might possibly have become complicated for her.
Still seems like rubbing it in...
Wednesday 15 February
What if he just wanted to make sure that he got the wording right in case it was on the final exam?
Yeah, that sounds like socialists, all right.
They don’t want the university to accept any additional federal funding, either, which is the knee-jerk anti-Trump reaction we’ve seen so far.
But then they wouldn’t really be “surrogates,” would they?
Wow, we never realized that one had to subscribe to a certain set of beliefs in order to qualify as a woman.
Listen, anyone can juxtapose images of the political enemy du jour against footage of goose-stepping Nazis, but that doesn’t make it “teaching.”
Oh, come awn. Those were funny!
Apparently she wasn’t interested in having a philosophical debate on the issue.
Thursday 16 February
...and they’re already having to stretch.
We can think of an even better way of ending the stigma of abortion...
What is it again that one is supposed to do in order to avoid being condemned to repeat the past?
This one really required a sign, though, because we were convinced it was Tin Tin at first.
Sure, it’s just a coincidence that the signs appeared right after an OCC professor’s rant about Trump’s election being an “act of terrorism” went viral and embarrassed the school.
Friday 17 February
Finally! We fully understand that a statement will accomplish precisely nothing, but that won’t stop us from relishing the sheer consistency of it.
Kinda makes one wonder what this distinguished mind thought of Bill Clinton.
You’re really flailing when you resort to calling a U.S. presidential administration a “regime.”
It’s just so petty.
Oh, the rhetorical theatrics they did employ in their attempts to argue that a Nobel Peace Prize recipient shouldn’t be entitled to the freedom of speech to which they must pay lip service.
The lesson? A little negative press is all it takes to get Berkeley to reverse its position.
They should equip that campus with a sail.
Hey, Gov. Abbott warned them this would happen two months ago. He’s not exactly known for empty promises.