The Weekly Roundup: Inclusiveness through exclusion
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Monday 13 March
They’re just giving all their other students “sanctuary” from the loss of federal funding.
Even the name suggests it won’t actually do anything, though...
Drawing moustaches and devil horns on someone’s picture? That went out of style in 3rd grade.
What a coincidence. Trump is forming similarly-named teams.
Well, it is possible to be both unkind and accurate...
Hint: it only makes sense if you think of the executive order as the excuse they had been waiting for.
That’s why it’s important to put some actual forethought into one’s public statements.
Speech doesn’t happen in a vacuum.
It’s OK, though; he’s not the real “victim.”
Tuesday 14 March
Working backwards, they finally arrived at a definition they could deem satisfactory.
And if the students start to get bored, just put some Spongebob on the TV.
Is it really going to take THAT long?!
That way, professors will know that the students are intentionally disregarding the rules of grammar, rather than just accidentally like normal.
Somehow, we doubt that the bra manufacturers were terribly upset.
The employees who scrubbed their chalkings were just “following orders.”
Where have we heard that excuse before?
Ah, but if his “lies” are reported accurately, is it still “fake news”?
Wednesday 15 March
What happened? We don’t know, exactly. They didn’t feel “safe” discussing it.
Not inclusive enough for whom?
When they all gather together and focus really hard, they can summon enough power to light up a neon sign.
Who knew that Wikipedia editors braved such danger on a daily basis?
But not by example or anything...
Huh. We would have thought that heteronormative assumptions tend to be correct as-is. That’s what the “normative” part implies.
They must feel so reassured...
Beware that gender binary!
It’s because of the school’s propensity to charge students for speaking.
Thursday 16 March
Your tax dollars at work...
There was literally no answer that didn’t make the respondent look like a bigot.
Very thought-provoking, professor.
After five months, it’s no longer “coping;” it’s “moping.”
Still, $20,000 worth of booze in one school year is impressive. And that’s just for the executive board!
What?! Even more so than Trump?!
Wanna bet $2,000 that the diversification doesn’t include adding conservative perspectives?
Friday 17 March
Yeah, because the Jews have historically just had everything handed to them on a silver platter.
Can somebody please teach them the definition of “slander”? They seem to think that it applies to factually-accurate claims made in print.
Yuppies just can’t stand the thought of giving anything away for free, apparently.
But seriously: did you know that the federal government advises drinking three glasses of milk per day?
And we wonder why there’s an obesity epidemic...
The flyers discuss “a world where social justice matters,” suggesting that at least they’re aware that the programming was a waste of time.