The 7 smallest microaggressions of 2015
As a way to unwind and gear up for the craziness 2016 is sure to bring, Campus Reform has selected the seven smallest, most absurd things people were offended by in 2015.
You’re going to need a microscope to see these "aggressions."
The University of Wisconsin, in an effort to be politically correct, removed the phrase “politically correct” from a list of “politically correct” phrases because the phrase is no longer “politically correct.”
A “Just Words” campaign at UWM said the phrase is used “in an attempt to avoid offense” and “is disconnected from authentic understanding of impact.” Since political correctness was tossed out the window, Warren Scherer, the director of the “Just Words” campaign, took to social media to voice his opinion of the 2016 GOP presidential candidates.
“Fuck every fiber of your being” Scherer tweeted to former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee.
We can’t make this stuff up, people.
An unofficial student group called “Rock Chalk Invisible Hawks” (RCIH) occupied the president’s office at the University of Kansas before leading a protest across campus. During the protest, (RCIH) bumped into members of the university’s chapter of Tri Delta sorority who were selling candy canes to raise funds for St. Jude’s Hospital.
(RCIH) members were apparently upset when members of the sorority did not participate in the protest, tweeting “@KUTriDelta cares more about philanthropy than #blacklivesmatter,” “the shouts of @KUTriDelta are coming from privilege” and “@KUTriDelta control your members. Now is NOT the time for laughin/candy canes. Have you heard of Microaggressions?”
Yeah, @KUTriDelta, control your members. This candy cane stuff is getting out of hand. We told you the last time you shut down a freeway to…I mean distributed candy canes…to never do it again.
Speaking of kids…
Back in January, a student at Princeton University claimed teasing people for pronouncing the “wh” in “Cool Whip” as “hw” is a microaggression and could lead to binge drinking. In an op-ed in The Princetonian, titled “The history of ‘wh’: a microaggression,” Newby Parton claimed his peers repeatedly ask him to “say Cool Whip” and “make a spectacle of it,” which can “cause anxiety and binge drinking.”
I could use a drink.
In May, a group of students at Arizona State University petitioned the university to change the name of its pedestrian walkways from “Walk-Only-Zones” to something more inclusive. According to a petition started by ASU students, the walkway “marginalizes disabled bodies who cannot walk” and could be considered a “microaggression.”
“Not everyone at ASU can walk, so why use the lingo ‘Walk Only’?” a poster protesting the on-campus crosswalks stated.
Not everyone at ASU speaks English, so why would you assume people of other cultures can read your poster? Really, your cultural insensitivity is making us all look bad.
Back in April, members of John Hopkins University’s student government passed a resolution condemning a proposal to bring Chick-fil-A to campus. Instead, the student government association (SGA) suggested the university consider “non-discriminatory alternatives.” Apparently, the (SGA) found CEO Dan Cathy’s support of traditional marriage a “microaggression” against the LGBT community.
Since Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays, would that mean that members of the LGBT community were only microaggressed six days of the week?
The University of New Hampshire released a pamphlet on gender microaggressions that claimed such aggressions have a “detrimental impact” on women by promoting “unequal wages” and causing “higher levels of poverty.” Microaggressions, according to the university, also harm women’s physical health by causing “migraines, heart disease, [and] autoimmune disorders.” Earlier in the year, UNH published a language guide claiming the word “American” was “problematic.”
Congratulations, UNH, for being Campus Reform’s 2015 Most Microaggressed Campus of the Year.
The University of California school system distributed a list of “microaggressions” to all of its faculty members in order to “broaden faculty leaders’ capacity to support faculty diversity and enhance department and campus climate toward inclusive excellence.” According to the list, statements asserting that “race or gender does not play a role in life successes” are offensive and perpetuate a “myth of meritocracy.” Examples of statements of this kind are “America is the land of opportunity” and “I believe the most qualified person should get the job.”
Well, whoever came up with this is certainly not qualified for any job.
There you have it – our top microaggressions of 2015!
What do you think of our list? Tweet us and let us know @CampusReform