University newspaper tells students of public places to have sex on campus when they’re ‘starving for d*ck’

Pipe Dream is Binghamton's official university newspaper.

Suggested locations include personal study rooms in the library, balcony of the university's theater.

Binghamton University’s official student newspaper published an article advising students which public places on campus are best to have sex when they are “starving for dick.”

The start of the article, called “Public places on campus for your private pleasure,” promised to include “locations less utilized, to satisfy those students starving for adventure, imagination and dick.”

Authors Erin Rosenblum and Evy Pitt-Stoller go into great detail of the benefits of each location, such as recommending the University Downtown Center’s (UDC) study rooms a good place for anal sex.

“Enter the UDC, walk through the Pods all the way to the back door and you’ll find yourself facing a wall housing several closet-sized individual study rooms, each with enough privacy for someone to enter your back door, if you’re into that,” states the article, published Friday.

“Each study room locks, so you don’t even have to worry about the chance of anyone barging in!” it continues.

The suggestions include specific tips on how to have sex in the various locations.

For example, the students note that while a couch on the balcony of the school’s Watters Theater — advising that it is “unattended most hours of the day” — the theater echoes and so students who want to have sex there shouldn’t be too loud.

The article characterizes “good ol’ classic library sex” as overdone, but advises students that if they want to do it, they should do it in the Arabic section after 11pm.

“Does anyone ever even read the literature in the Arabic section?” it asks. “For all we know, all of the books are cardboard props and Glenn G. Bartle created this section solely for student intercourse.”

CU Independent, the student newspaper of the University of Colorado - Boulder, also published an article about public sex on campus this week, stating that “there are many times when we just have to satisfy our urges.”

Follow the author of this article on Twitter @kctimpf