The Weekly Roundup: Cataloguing the downfall of liberalism, one tweed jacket at a time

Tuesday, 31 May

UCI College Republicans demand security for Milo event after protest threats

Strangely, administrators actually agreed to hear them out, rather than trying to claim that Milo doesn’t exist.

As usual, of course, they had to pay for the extra guards. But these kids were smart, and made sure to hire private security that didn’t take orders from university administrators.

New Jersey court blocks grants to religious colleges

God (oops, we meant “The State”) forbid that anyone with a religious bent receive assistance with building renovations. They’d just use it to finance forced conversions anyway, right?

Now, if they had decided to block the grants on the grounds that private institutions should pay for their own got-dang renovations, we would merely bask in the brilliant glow of their common sense.

Wednesday, 1 June

As expected, Milo event disrupted at UCLA

“I’m tired of people making fun of me and hurting my feelings,” one protester whined. In that case, might we suggest not surrounding yourself with people who consider your feelings a source of amusement?

Documents: Clemson believed ‘banana banner’ incident wasn’t racial

“Two students came forward and told they had done bananas [sic],” VP for Student Affairs Almeda Jacks explained (sort of) in an email that suggests Clemson has far greater problems than racism to deal with. Y’know, like the inability of its top officials to put together a coherent sentence.

Facebook ‘safe space’ shuts itself down after anti-white/male statements leak

If you’re afraid of someone overhearing your opinions, maybe it’s time to reevaluate those opinions.

For instance, we love all of our parents, even the white ones, and we don’t care who knows it.

Jewish orgs help UCI deny pattern of anti-Semitism

Oh, so kinda like when liberal feminists say they don’t see any problem with Bill Clinton’s sex life.

Thursday, 2 June

UCLA prof. ordered students to ignore lockdown and take exams, then lies about it

We can handle being lied to, but she could have at least had the decency to do it well.

To her credit, though, she did at least lie through her teeth in complete sentences.

Dartmouth gives BLM students pass for profane library protest

Ooooof course they did. Apparently a hostage situation is in the eye of the beholder.

Obama blames high tuition costs on Medicaid, prisons

Alright, we’re willing to give up Medicaid. Cold turkey, even.

Congressman hints at funding cuts if UCI won’t address anti-Semitism

If liberals can claim that teaching Shakespeare to English majors is discriminatory, then surely a decade-long pattern of physical assault and intimidation of Jewish is at least worth acknowledging.

You know it’s gotta be bad if it’s a Democratic state legislator leading the charge.

Friday, 3 June

Pacifiers keep liberal babies quiet during Milo event at UCI

Outside, now. That was a different story altogether. Milo had to be taken out the back to a squad car to avoid being beaten to death with his own shoes.

Has Milo considered investing in his own fabulously stylistic bodyguards yet?

Worth noting: this took place in the same building where a group of Jewish students was held hostage by a mob of pro-Palestinian protesters.

Jewish students recount physical assaults at UCI

Let us guess: UCI is going to say there was nothing anti-Semitic about those incidents; those were just the normal beatings that every student receives from time to time. College, amiright?

UNC refusing to enforce state law on transgender bathrooms

Sure federal law trumps state law. But just because Obama says something doesn’t make it a federal law, no matter what he tells you.

University of Chicago prepares to crack down on students who can’t take a hint

They’ve tried lecturing; they’ve tried nagging, heckling, and cajoling; heck, they’ve even tried explaining it without using too many big words. Now, students who disrupt free speech on campus will find out how Chicago deals with troublemakers.