The Weekly Roundup: Ostriches on campus!

Monday 16 January

BC prof calls Trump victory a product of ‘white heterosexual male privilege’

We counter that Trump’s victory was actually a product of running against white, heterosexual Hillary Clinton.

Georgetown spoils Dems’ plan to host strangers in their dorm rooms for protest

Gee, why wouldn’t they want to allow a bunch of unknown (but presumably grungy) persons to wander freely through residence halls?

Congressional report finds that scores of colleges traffic in aborted baby parts

“Dead baby jokes” just feel inappropriate here.

Schools offer ‘safe spaces’ to combat ‘toxic masculinity’

Does that mean that toxic masculinity will be caged and/or heavily sedated so that it poses no danger to participants while they mock and demean it?

CR members say Berkeley students routinely assault, libel them for being conservative

No wonder liberal students have been clamoring so desperately for tolerance training. They’re sorely in need of it.

Tuesday 17 January

VIDEO: Anti-Trump protesters rampage through Georgetown classrooms

Sure, they were mostly just “preaching to the choir,” but if one ponders on that expression, it does occur that a preacher would most likely practice his sermons while only the choir was present.

So just consider that a warm-up act.

Marquette still refusing to reinstate McAdams without public confession, apology for blog post

Or should we say, “McAdams still refusing to prostrate himself before PC thugs of Marquette”?

Berkeley course examines ‘the cognitive dysfunctions produced by Trump’

Sounds like they’re talking about themselves!

Admitting you have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery.

Radical anti-cop prof keynotes EMU’s MLK celebration

That’s a fine way to commemorate a man who preached a message of reconciliation, peace, and understanding.

Weepy UCSC students wipe away tears, hold ‘People’s Inauguration’ to protest Trump

They’ve merely traded one ineffectual reaction for another, which is just fine by us.

Is the inauguration of the president the country has chosen not itself a “people’s inauguration?”

Penn State hosts trans-friendly workshop on ‘The Female Orgasm’

That’s gotta be one confusing workshop...

‘Hate incident’ reports triple, so UW holds symposium on bias response strategies

They don’t need a symposium. They just need to stop patronizing their students’ PC outrage and come up with a definition of “hate incident” that doesn’t include displaying a crucifix or expressing a political opinion in chalk.

Pro-life group sues CSU for denying funds because admins disliked message

But some “folks” might not “necessarily feel affirmed” by a pro-life message!

Wednesday 18 January

Georgetown ‘Pride’ group plans post-Inauguration ‘self-care’ event

Well, the Inauguration is officially over, and not once did Trump start pummeling a minority.

Marquette urges profs to indoctrinate students with mandatory social justice workshops

Is “indoctrinate” too strong a word? Well, in 1984 the Party members only had to endure two minutes of hate; Marquette requires 90 minutes, with punctuality strictly enforced.

You decide.

Conservatives students ARRESTED for handing out Constitutions

Just be grateful that those brave campus police officers were there to foil that dastardly plot to undermine authority by reminding students of their right to be free from unreasonable search and seizure.

UT students flaunt their ‘ungrabbable assets’ at ‘twerkshop’ event

But just to be sure they remain ungrabbable: “No observers please.”

In other words, resist! But not too publicly!

Federal judge scolds Yale for abandoning its commitment to free expression

Those Yalies really have been acting like unsupervised teenagers in a house with an unlocked liquor cabinet ever since Bill Buckley passed away.

It’s about time that some kindly uncle stepped in to provide some guidance.

College Dem leader bails on Party, says GOP ‘makes the most sense’

It’s not even a Trump thing. It turns out that most liberals are just as obnoxious and close-minded as we always feared.

Thursday 19 January

MLA condemns anti-Israel boycotts

Apparently griping is a dead language.

Kentucky grad students hold day-long anti-Trump teach-in

Thank goodness those wise grad students were around to teach their wet-behind-the-ears undergraduate peers that Trump is a bigoted, mean-spirited climate denier, and probably hates puppies, too.

Trump-day preppers: liberals put their own twist on emergency preparedness

Can somebody please make this into a television series? Someone call the History Channel!

Catholic college bussing students to pro-abortion protest

We could probably append “(Allegedly)” before any description of a school that uses the phrase “Catholic school.”

‘SAY WHAT?!’: Miami students told ‘microaggressions can hurt’

“SAY WHAT?!” indeed.

Friday 20 January

Universities subsidize students to attend anti-Trump Women’s March

What’s tuition at, again?

USC students take oaths to oppose Trump during Inauguration

Oh? Wonder how many people viewed that oath-taking ceremony...

MAP: Inauguration protests sweep through campuses

Do students really need to protest anymore, or can we just take as a given that they oppose whatever it is that might be under discussion?

Georgetown flag pole empty on Inauguration Day

The campus feminists were naturally outraged as such blatant phallic symbolism.

Humboldt holds ‘Day of Solidarity’ to ‘heal’ from Inauguration

Wolf! Wolf!

Saturday 21 January

UC Davis profs use school email lists to promote anti-Trump teach-ins

If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it seven or eight times; and if a few (hundred) more professors abuse public resources to lobby for partisan causes, that formulation will eventually have some ring to it.

Let’s hope it never comes to that.

Sunday 22 January

VIDEO: Women’s marchers say pro-lifers can’t be feminists

Which is ironic, because pro-lifers would surely welcome feminists to their fold with open arms.