The Weekly Roundup: Dangerously duplicitous

Campus Reform Reporter

  • The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
  • Saturday, May 14

    Dartmouth vandals decide black lives matter but blue lives don’t

    Rumor has it that Melissa Click will be given responsibility for rounding up the requisite muscle to evict any students who run afoul of the new policies.   

    We would suggest they could compromise and stipulate that “black and blue lives matter,” but we’d probably be accused of appropriating the slogan on behalf of domestic violence victims. God forbid.

    Administrators eventually allowed the students to replace their display, courageously mandating that it be done surreptitiously at 2:00 a.m. to minimize the risk of violent outbursts by the vandals, who remained on the scene and unpunished throughout the ordeal.

    Monday, May 16

    Socialist club denies that ‘laziness’ is responsible for its poor popularity

    Nice try, comrades, but we suspect that most people rank laziness somewhat below poverty, repression, and mass murder on their list of socialism’s failings.

    Besides, it really doesn’t matter how lazy socialists are, since no amount of effort could ever make up for the fundamental fallacies upon which their philosophy is based.

    VIDEO: Millennials reject ‘woman card,’ say they don’t trust Hillary

    This one surprised us. Normally college students don’t seem to have much of a problem with people telling them what to think and believe.

    UC Irvine prof: if Milo is offensive, then so is ‘Anti-Zionism Week’

    He’s right, of course, but when has that ever been relevant?

    Tuesday, May 17

    After chaotic year, Mizzou moves to restrict protests

    Rumor has it that Melissa Click will be given responsibility for rounding up the requisite muscle to evict any students who run afoul of the new policies.

    Law profs. condemn fed. overreach on sexual harassment

    Perusing the document over lunch the other day, President Obama had to be rushed to the hospital after choking on his arugula.

    Faculty freak out, insist anti-union appointee to Illinois Higher Ed Board not legitimate

    Anyone still wondering how Illinois became a national laughingstock need only consider that these professors actually seem to believe that blind obeisance to public sector unions is a prerequisite to work for the state.

    Their confusion can probably be forgiven, though. The legislature undoubtedly would have passed such a requirement already, had the need for one ever arisen.

    Wednesday, May 18

    Arizona passes law reminding colleges that free speech applies everywhere

    There must be a secret clause in the First Amendment, visible exclusively to college administrators, stipulating that Americans are only entitled to freedom of speech as long as nobody can hear them.

    UC students: $25M for illegal immigrant students not nearly enough

    Hey, it’s no skin off their noses. They’re college students, meaning they’ll soon be underemployed (at best) and therefore at no risk of having to chip in for the largesse they’re demanding.

    UW-Madison suspends frat for inadequate response to racial slurs

    It’s difficult to see how any response to a complaint about someone singing a song lyric could be considered inadequate.

    Thursday, May 19

    Ret. general allegedly fired by college for opposing transgender bathroom bill

    “No, no, no,” the college says. They just declined to renew his contract because his position was intended to be short-term, something that oddly hadn’t occurred to them in the past nine years.

    House Dems fail to ban Confederate flag at The Citadel

    It probably should have been a gimme, with all the flack that banner has been getting lately, but threatening to withhold ROTC funding from a military academy was a singularly dumb idea.

    AAUP report blames ‘political interference’ for Melissa Click’s firing by Mizzou

    You’re darn skippy there was political interference from the elected officials who fund the university. Without it, she’d probably still be patrolling the campus with her “muscle” in tow.

    Muslim students disrupt pro-Israel event at UCI

    The calls for a renewed Intifada make sense, given the context, but we’re still trying to figure out why the protesters wanted to have carnal relations with police officers.

    Friday, May 20

    Prof. offers extra credit to students who demand free tuition from state legislators

    And just to make sure those conservative students don’t try any monkey business, he even mails the letters out himself (after ensuring that they advocate his positions effectively, of course).

    UT diversity office loses funding one day after diversity chief resigns

    Is anyone else reminded of the cliché about rats fleeing a sinking ship?

    Ret. general returns to teaching following furor over firing

    Interim President Dennis Steven says he is pleased that Boykin will be returning, by which we assume he means he is pleased conservative media outlets will stop coming after his school.

    Which brings up an interesting point: how often do you see conservatives actually out-protest liberals?





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