The Weekly Roundup: good for the liberalism that ails you
Monday, 12 September
"Bro, freedom is like soooo 1787."
It’s not as though the founder of the “White Privilege Conference” could be expected to give any other answer...which is basically our point.
Y’know, it can be rather difficult to be an effective “agent for change” from behind the window of a McDonald’s drive-thru.
Perhaps college students should indulge their passions in the same way that everyone else does: during their free time.
If displaying images of terrorist attacks is “promoting Islamophobia,” then whose fault is that? The person who posts the pictures, or those depicted therein?
When a group includes the word “revolution” in its name, it’s a safe bet that even the “revolutionaries” don’t have a particularly firm grasp of the cause.
We particularly enjoyed their rant about “the logical outcome of toxic masculinity,” given that the only thing “logical” about the sentence was the inclusion of that word.
As a consolation prize, though, Campus Reform would like to offer all the affected students steeply-discounted Super Bowl tickets.
Tuesday, 13 September
Now, if only they would cut it out with that horribly discriminatory men’s and women’s sports thing...
Hey, when your students are complaining their coursework is cutting into their activism,
If only the school had followed its own procedures for vetting new courses, rather than blindly approving it so as to avoid the ire of the SJP.
Wednesday, 14 September
Like everything else about their position, though, they got the piñata part backward.
Apparently the lead actress looks kinda-sorta like one of the thousands of students who have protested campus carry.
By the same logic, we submit that all Dennis Quaid films are threats against Harrison Ford.
Thursday, 15 September
You see, racism is only bad when it’s not directed at Jews...
It would be best if the school just puts a trigger warning before every word. Actually, every letter - we don’t know about you, but every time we read the letters “p” and “r,” regardless of context, we think of the omnipotent “patriarchy” and omnipresent “rape culture.”
Make sure you cram all of those 168 faculty signatures in there. We wouldn’t want any of you to miss the opportunity to virtue-signal.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing if you adopt the correct opinion that free speech and that whole ‘First Amendment’ thing are bad.
Friday, 16 September
Let’s hope the Yalies are able to handle offensive ideas this year. If not, one Harambe costume may be enough to set off a mass-triggering event.
Orwell would commend this doubleplusgood doublethink.
Bro, freedom is like soooo 1787.
Hear that, frat boys? Your only reason to join this class is now moot.