The Weekly Roundup: A different kind of safe space
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Monday, 29 August
“No, no, no; you have us all wrong,” Clemson protests. “We kicked him off campus for having a sign, not for praying!”
Yeah, that makes it soooo much better...
Of course, the school says it doesn’t really expect anyone to take advantage of it, which might just be wishful thinking, but is nonetheless revealing with respect to its true motivations.
Well, that explains why so many students from Brown were willing to declare publicly that their schoolwork was interfering with their activism…
It also explains why the University of Chicago remains an elite academic institution, while Brown remains in Rhode Island.
Campus Pride portrayed the list as a ranking of the most LGBT-unfriendly schools, but it’s really just a list of religious colleges and universities.
Is anybody out there working on a list of activist organizations that are the most unfriendly to religion?
Tuesday, 30 August
Hmm, that does sound like a good way to keep an eye on those troublemakers...
What’s even the point? As long as that “C” stands for “Christian,” they’re never gonna be invited to those fancy parties they throw down in Houston.
They even had one stating that “my pronouns are fluid” and encouraging others to “please ask me!”
...which sounds like a clever yet devious ploy, because asking someone about their pronouns is probably a microaggression.
Now the whole campus is a safe space for people who fear history!
Wednesday, 31 August
If sitting on one’s duff is “heroic,” then just call us Hercules.
It’s important to get to them right away, before they learn any facts about the matter and realize how ridiculous their classmates are being.
Gee whiz. Don’t ya think they’re good enough at that already?
The manual defines “right” as something “everyone has equal access or availability to,” but UC might as well have also defined it as “the political status of choice for students who want to be hectored with the rest of these terms.”
Sound like perhaps Rutgers could stand to take its own advice.
Thursday, 1 September
“Terrorism...that’s just a really bad thing, I guess.”
That pretty much sums it up.
Hey, nobody ever accused Millennials of disliking platitudes. In fact, when they find that they aren’t surrounded by enough meaningless drivel, they actually hold protests to demand more.
The students demand that university labels and funding be stripped from any student organization that promotes hate speech harmful to minority student groups. So can conservative students, a minority on the college campus, now lobby to sanction all of those liberals who hate them so much?
“Alright boys, y’all can keep your shotguns and huntin’ rifles with you if you live off campus, cuz that’s what the Second Amendment was for. But don’t go round carryin’ a pistol cuz I just don’t trust you!”
That’s pretty much what we’ve been saying…
After all, we operate in the real world, where the Constitution actually does matter.
Friday, 2 September
But it’s my money and I want it now!
What, did they hire this guy away from Kinder-Kare or something?
Saturday, 3 September
Naturally, a pro-Black Lives Matter display remained undisturbed.
Mark it—that’s the cleverest headline you’ll read on the subject.
In other news, the Pope is still Catholic.