The Weekly Roundup: Here's what you missed while you were at CPAC
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Monday, February 29
It’s all part of their commitment to cracking down on sexual assault.
Geez, they could have at least had the decency to check whether the school actually invested in any of the companies they targeted before holding a protest. But then, that would be the intelligent thing to do.
Yup, Israel just really needed another enemy. That’s gotta be it.
He's under investigation and innocent until proven guilty, of course, but you're not even going to suspend him with pay?
Except for the fact that the Civil Rights movement was based entirely on the fact that black people are American citizens entitled to the protections that entails, unlike non-citizens.
They could have at least waited to find out what he wanted to speak about…
Tuesday, March 1
Well, now that would be convenient, wouldn’t it? Then they wouldn’t even need to worry about getting excuses and extensions from their professors.
They actually mean “hateful speech,” grammatically speaking, but as a practical matter, the best interpretation is “any speech with which the angriest segment of the student body disagrees.”
Isn’t that overkill? Surely their hangovers would have gone away naturally by the next afternoon.
Wednesday, March 2
Don’t worry, guys. Surely those pictures will never find their way onto the Internet.
What passes for logic at Gettysburg: victims of vandalism receive lecture about hurting others’ feelings; perpetrators of vandalism receive support from administrators.
We actually had to read the statement a few times over before we could completely believe that a university president, at Rutgers of all places, is refusing to silence speech.
Thursday, March 3
The school had two options: close the loophole and apply restrictions universally, or widen the loophole to expand the autonomy of student groups. Channeling Stalin, they chose the former.
Friday, March 4
Of course, a St. Patrick's Day-themed party would've elicited no raised eyebrows whatsoever.
Twenty years of indoctrination undone by a one-hour lecture. Those students’ grade school teachers must be frothing at the mouth.
On the plus side, they’re generally too busy agitating for political action to be bothered with such plebeian activities as voting.