The Weekly Roundup: The humiliation of the social justice warrior
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Saturday, 25 June
There’s liberal logic for you: remedial classes help students get ahead, and advanced courses hold them back.
We’re guessing these Trustees managed to avoid taking too many advanced classes in high school, themselves.
We’re guessing there are some civil rights leaders who would take issue with her implication that the struggles faced by African-Americans in the 1960s are in any way comparable to those of college students who have to go to a different floor to access a private restroom.
Phew! She’s a biology professor. We half expected to find out that she teaches history, based on her limited understanding of it.
Sunday 26 June
Hey, these are the risks you run. If you’re going to declare yourself “inclusive,” you’d better be darn sure you’re not excluding millions of people.
Monday, 27 June
Well, it does take a certain kind of courage to keep going with a charade like that even after one’s accusation has been thoroughly debunked. We’re not so sure it deserves an award, though.
Remember, these are the same people who routinely accuse Republicans of racism for supporting mandatory minimums for other crimes.
Alt: The black professor said “the only thing I know that makes white people vote against their own economic interests is racism.” No word on whether internalized racism makes black people vote against their economic interests by electing Democratic candidates who favor debilitating welfare.
Tsk, tsk. That was pretty sneaky of them. Fortunately nothing is invisible to the all-seeing eye of Campus Reform when it dons its spectacles of password-wielding minions.
And none too soon, either. The state legislature is liable to be breathing down their necks before too long.
Can we get a Daley elected Mayor of Cleveland? Pronto?
Frankly, considering what the tutors consider “gender bias,” it’s astounding that they were only able to find two questions to whine about.
Besides, judging from their scores, most students don’t seem to be reading the questions, anyway.
Tuesday, 28 June
It’s not that they don’t approve of increased spending on STEM (or any other department, for that matter). It’s just that they can’t understand why that should necessitate decreased spending on any other department.
Not at UC Irvine, though. Oh, no. Those Muslim kids were just fixing the Jewish kids’ collars.
But seriously, we’d love to see what would happen if they lifted the PC protections that keep the Jewish students from defending themselves. From what we can tell, they’re chomping at the bit.
If attacking pro-choice is a microaggression, surely being pro-choice is a macroaggression. Last time we checked, the words used to criticize pro-choice do not cut so deep that they penetrate the uterus to harm the unborn.
“The reason, the Review argues, is that managers, business executives, and employees in general are less likely to agree with a position if it is presented to them under mandatory circumstances.”
Translation: People don’t like being pushed around and, as academics, we do not possess the firepower of the Stasi to kick down people’s doors and make them do what we want.
We assert that Judge Richard Posner, while astute in his analysis, slightly underestimates the value in studying the Constitution. Surely he found the free speech section of the First Amendment valuable in informing him of his permission to spout boldfaced ignorance.
Finally, a university has taken a stand to refuse to remove the name of a racist from their school.
Wednesday, 29 June
Being civil isn’t like eating your broccoli. You don’t do it because someone makes you; you do it because generations of people before you have learned through trial and error that civility is mutually beneficial.
Does anybody even bother to contemplate the significance of social conventions anymore?
Of course not, they were merely steps that employees could take to self-censor their language.
These kids are on the ball. Remember their names, because you’re liable to see several of them in the papers one day.
That wasn’t a joke, but it was an opinion. Just wanted to be sure you weren’t poring over it incredulously, desperately searching for humor.
What a novel idea: college as a formative experience, rather than some sort of womb-simulation.
One aspiring professor actually tried to write about how he fosters an environment of what he termed “intellectual diversity.” The “color-blind” buffoon’s IP address was immediately traced by the SocJus gestapo, who gently escorted him to his local re-education camp, where he learned that true diversity is skin-deep.
You can’t ask him about it, though. He loved his undisclosed location so much that he decided to stay there permanently, even asking that his family be kept under house arrest as insurance in case anyone tried to remove him from his idyllic existence. In an undisclosed location. For his own protection. End transmission.
They had better not lose the instructions, or else they’ll end up with a million little pieces of men scattered across the living room floor, and Mom will get angry.
They mean it metaphorically, you say? Well, that’s definitely a lot less gross, but it’s also has a lot less academic merit.
Things will have come to a pretty pass on the day “Chicago” becomes synonymous with “free speech.”
It may be the Windy City, but its windbags were never free.
Sources close to Social Justice Deity report that Xe has recently reshuffled the progressive victim stack so that murderers and rapists trump Muslims for the most oppressed class.
One of Social Justice Deity’s agents here argues that murderers and rapists should be released because they are unlikely to be repeat offenders. So why not just let them loose? And don’t give us any of that “they need to pay for their actions” nonsense. Responsibility is so 1980s.
Thursday, 30 June
Her argument, and here we barely need to paraphrase, is that failing to discriminate against men is discriminatory against women.
Shockingly enough, perhaps many Millennials don’t find themselves dancing to the tune of second wave feminism!
“Hmm, how else can we force people to behave the way we want them to?”
Gee, here’s a novel idea: Instead of forcing them, you could try giving them a reason to do it on their own...
By our count, that’s two strikes in one day. Let’s see if the SJW’s can make it through the week.
Spoiler alert: they can’t.
That’s precisely the reaction we expect. The very idea that a government entity should be responsible for policing “bias” should chill us all to the marrow.
Of course, fighting fire with fire is always an option. That bias team seemed pretty biased to us; maybe someone should bias report them.
This is the contemporary equivalent of Frankenstein’s monster, and we’re the townsfolk. The monster may be well-meaning, but the results are catastrophic.
And like every good story, this one has a moral: You play with fire when you try to pass off bleeding-heart liberalism as scholarly research.
We’ll just have to get some new top colleges, then, won’t we?
Millennials may be knowledgeable about social justice issues, but when it comes to legitimate political issues, they are lost in the woods.
Friday, 1 July
So after the previous Board got packed with white liberals, Democrats are now indignantly proclaiming that Gov. Bevin (R) broke the law in the process of bringing the Board into compliance with it.
A classic example of “do as I say, not as I do.”
One of the professors cited “toxic masculinity” and the “fetishization” of weapons as causes of the Orlando shooting. Indeed, gun laws have been out of control these past few years. And by gun laws, we mean laws permitting what you can and cannot do to your gun. Radical Republicans are now commonly seen playing dress-up with their loathsome AR-15s, applying lipstick to the muzzle, and taking them out to dinner.
As for toxic masculinity: believe it or not, sources say that over 50% of the world’s population is infected with the disease. Common symptoms include a Y chromosome, abundant testosterone, and chest hair! If spotted, authorities suggest extinguishing with hormone injections. Kicks to the shin or crotch have also proven effective.
We also find “I’m With Her” to be sexist, but we haven’t heard back from the bias team on that one yet.
The letter-writing campaign urging him not to file charges is probably a forlorn hope. There’s nothing public officials hate more than hearing from the public.
We couldn’t help but notice how appropriate it is that Yale’s mascot is a bulldog.
What good is it to have more scientists if they have to spend all their time talking about social issues? Unleash the beaker!
They’re plantin’ daisies all ‘round the campus, for to plug up the barrels of the guns that they’re certain will soon poke forth from every dark corner.